February 1st, 2016
| | Posted in CHRI
Family Radio Jukebox host Dan Adams and his wife Elise have been married for almost 12 years and have 4 little ones (7, 6, 4, 2) running around the home. We asked Dan & Elise to share with us how they balance their marriage with 4 children
- How did you meet? Tell us a bit about your wedding and what it was like as newlyweds.
We met in Kingston – Dan was working at a radio station owned by a wonderful Christian couple. Elise was going to bible study group hosted by this couple. They told us about the other and said we just HAD to meet! Dan came out to an afternoon of bowling and right away we hit it off and quickly became good friends. A few months later, Elise moved to Ottawa for a job and we started dating the next week. Eventually Dan moved to Ottawa and we plugged into life here and decided that we wanted to be together (which we had suspected before!).
Our wedding was at Elise’s home church with friends and family coming from across the province to celebrate with us. We had a really fun ceremony then headed to Florida for our honeymoon.
Newlywed life was great! We lived in an apartment, had a cat, helped out a lot at our church, and went on a couple vacations! Looking back, our time was well-spent, but we wish we’d been a little stricter with our double incomes and put more money aside for our first home.
- What did you notice was the first affect having a child had on your marriage?
So tired!! One of the best pieces of advice that was given to us was to let each other sleep! Having two people up with the baby leads to two tired people the next day, so we quickly learned to give the other time to sleep, which helped us to be more patient with the baby and with each other.
- How do you find balance between your kids and your marriage?
Ha ha ha ha ha!!! Oh wait, this is a serious question? “Balance” doesn’t feel very applicable right now! We keep bedtimes for the kids pretty early to give us a decent chunk of time in the evening. We do very few extra-curricular activities to limit the amount of time we spend running around. We’ve always enjoyed exploring new places, so although we haven’t traveled much with the kids, we bring them along to be a part of adventures and Ottawa has been great for that.
- What advice can you give to couples with kids who are struggling to make their spouse a priority in daily life?
We really aren’t experts and have lots to learn! Our advice would be to be nice! Chances are good you’re both tired from whatever your daily routine is, your home isn’t as clean as you’d like, finances can weigh you down, the kid(s) is/are loud/unappreciative/demanding and life at this stage can just be hard! Your spouse is trying just as hard as you and although it might show in very different ways, trust that you’re in this together and BE NICE to each other!
- What role does your faith play in all of this?
Knowing that these little critters are a gift from God and they have to go through this strange thing called childhood gets us through the day! God matched these kids up with us and we believe that He equips us with everything we need to raise them. Also, being a part of an incredible church family is a source of encouragement, support and wisdom as well.