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Surviving Valentine’s Day in Your Marriage

February 1st, 2015 Posted in Advice and Tips
Surviving Valentine’s Day in Your Marriagea special holiday marked by finding creative and thoughtful ways to share the gift of love.

“Surviving Valentine’s Day” makes me think of an encouraging article of “How-To’s” for singles so they do not feel left out on such a beautiful day of celebration. However, I believe as wives we can also use a little encouragement in this area.

In my first few years of marriage, I had extremely high expectations of over-the-top romantic gestures from my husband on Valentine’s Day. But over the years I have learned that those expectations can lead to huge disappointment in marriage when left unmet. And knowing my husband naturally struggles to find romantic ways of pursuing me, this one day adds more pressure on him making Valentine’s more of a burden than an enjoyable occasion of celebration.

Perhaps you know all too well what I am describing?

Here are a few pointers for wives who feel like they need to survive Valentine’s Day:

– Romantically Pursue your husband! Don’t leave all the pressure of creative planning up to him. If you have specific expectations of how you desire the day to be celebrated, either surprise him or communicate and plan with him to make it a great day that satisfies.

– Look at it like every other day of the year! You are married and every day is an opportunity to express your love for each other. How your husband usually expresses his love for you is most likely what you can look forward to during Valentine’s Day as well. And if he decides to change things up, let the surprise rock your world!

– Together you and your husband can choose to boycott the overly advertised Valentine’s Day gift ideas for ones that are very personal and meaningful to you and him.

– Avoid social media for that day so you do not get caught up in comparing your marriage and husband to someone else’s based on how others celebrated. This will also help you to keep your phone or computer off while giving your husband some undivided attention.

If you are like me, a wife who can sometimes get frustrated toward her husband on a day of the year that is purposed to celebrate love, then these tips will hopefully help you set your attitude and your heart toward Valentine’s Day before it comes. My desire is that these words encourage you to remember that celebrating Valentine’s Day can and should be a unique experience for you and your husband. I want to warn you not to let your expectations of the special day leave you disappointed or feeling unworthy, especially when your husband does value you!

I know my husband loves me incredibly, and yet so many times I felt hurt because he didn’t fulfill Valentine’s Day like I thought he should have for me. Looking back I see not only was my perspective very selfish, but my hurt feelings left me unable to truly connect with my husband when he did in fact desire to do so.

Take a moment and strip your expectations of Valentine’s Day with your husband so you can do more than just survive it, but all the more so you and your husband can thrive while celebrating your love for each other! 

Jennifer Smith

– Jennifer Smith

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